As a young child, I was born in a tropical state, and I knew nothing of this thing called snow. Could I have been happy forever without it? I always wondered. I am curious, if any of us would or could be happy without. Without anything!
I soon moved to a snow infested area. Our first introduction came soon after that and instantly I was quite intrigued and pleasantly satisfied with its mystery and enjoyed all its random appearances that were to come. Once I had one taste, I was in constant anticipation. It was a new friend. One that made me feel so divine, safe, and not alone. I somehow expected that it come just for me, like magic, made by my wishes. This never happened though. As it would be, my new friend already seemed to becoming unreliable. It would come without warning, like I was learning most of life’s more exciting and unwanted gifts do. Could I trust such thing’s.
Even though I began to doubt snows sincerity, I would relish in the questions that came with its arrival. How much will we get, what kind will it be, thick and wet, soft and fluffy, will it last long, or melt right away? Over the years, I became almost infatuated with this entity called snow and with all of the strange thoughts and rewards and obligations that came with it. It seemed like magic to me. Could this snow be magic? What would it do next? How long until it came again? It was making me use my emotions, it was asking me to think, it was transforming my life….was snow life? The relationship was in full bloom, I had to have more.
Over the years we shared an abundance of special times together, but they were random, and at best only once a year. Nevertheless I was in love, still cautious though for snow didn’t seem to have much honest time for me. My memories were building. I had my first kiss in the snow, my imagination soared in the snow, my first snowman, my first snowball, my first snow snack, my first wet mittens and socks, my first cup of hot cocoa after playing out in the snow all day, my firsts were multiplying fast. I need more all the time. As the seasons past, again and again, I was not satisfied with the amount of time, snow and I had together. I had to many questions, I had to many desires, I had to be with snow more.
By this time in life, I was really involved in preparing for the next now, or so I thought. I needed more life, more snow! It almost seemed intoxicating when I had it, like a drug. Could snow be a drug? Whatever it was I had developed a thirst for it.
I moved several hundred times in the next few years, always trying to be closer to snow, having more snow, doing more snow. But I was also told that this article was supposed to be about drugs, and that for me also goes hand in hand with snow, because in these times with my relationships and experiences with snow, are love affair became demanding, often cruel, desperate, loving, I was addicted, and soon I fell out of love with snow and never wanted to see it again! Now I was starting to devour life, drugs, music, thoughts, emotions, love, everything was becoming cosmic better then snow had ever felt.
The variety of these things was out of this world vast. I just kept leaping into them, anything I could take into my mind, my heart, anything!
I was now considering if these creatures of mystery could be like snow, were they magic, were they the meaning to life, did they hold the almighty answers to the universe? Would they help me? Could I trust them? Would they abandon me? The journey continued, a hard long journey.
I quickly turned myself into a visionary, a man looking for everything, a soul in need of all great things. Was I on a never-ending path of disappointment? The questions never ended, and all these things started to take my life over. As with the snow, I now had to stay on the move, to find more teachers, more life, more magic, more drugs, more music, more love. I was on a vision quest, all by myself.
My world was constant change I was moving faster then light, I was dreaming but never asleep, I was evolving. There was the beautiful lady ACID, her sister COCAINE, there cousin METH, the grandfather and grandmother of them all MUSHROOMS and PEYOTE, strangers that looked like beautiful WOMAN, oceans of ALCOHOL, and there were countless others along they way, all just has powerful and disturbing! Did this all happen to me because I could not live without SNOW? In the backrooms of my mind I was always so confused, and at the same time I felt like I was constantly becoming more simple, more aware, a better spirit.
This story goes on through to many twists and turns to describe them all to you. The world that I was in was awkward, amazing, disappointing, harsh, pretty, balanced, and unbalanced. I was figuring everything out and nothing out all at the same times. I was trying so hard to become open minded that I was becoming close-minded. Instead of reaching the stage of ethics I was falling into the pit of pride. Along the way I was taught that life is an ongoing battle, that love need not be lost, that drugs could help but usually hurt, this was all religion, all thoughts, this was my snow as a child.
I am now on yet another journey in life, and I am waiting for snow again! I want to see its lovely face, in all its crystal shine.
This article could mean nothing to those who read it, or it could change how you look at the world. I know from experience that looking at that first snowflake as a child that I could change the world. I could become the best lover, I would become a great thinker, that nothing had to leave me without giving me a lesson. We are all here to grow, to change, to move, to love, to live, to think, to feel, to help one another, to reach out for those things that scare us. We are here on this earth to fly away from this earth, we are brothers and sisters, we are lovers, we are friends, we are the snow! Our spirits are magic, we are life never ending, and we can be trusted! Perhaps not trusted to do the right thing all the time, but we can be trusted to hurt from our mistakes and to take the chance we’ve been given to correct them.
WE ARE SIMPLE CREATURES, and we complicate our own days to a point where they become hard to live in. We don’t need to do that, I have a real hard time still not doing that, but I know that it is not needed.
I was in love with the snow, I was in love with the drugs, I was in love with the music of life, I was always looking for more… And I still am!
I now want to see the snow again and I have a desire to try new drugs. Drugs like healthy relationships, drugs like empathy and humility, I am in love all over again. This world has just started for me. I want to become like Alice in wonderland, and have un-birthdays (growing younger), I want to believe in effort, I want to live forever in love with everything. It can happen! The snow was magic, it was life, it was knowledge, it was everything, it can be trusted. Not trusted to come on demand, but trusted to make you smile when it comes! I truly hope you all have snow someday, and that you take the chances that come with it, reach out of this world and become part of the new world. The world of love and change, the world of promise and loyalty, make yourselves partners with the universe, let your spirits fly, make dreams come true, walk like your ancestors did, take time and throw it away, move through moments and always remember that all the best things in life only happen RIGHT NOW. Let it snow, let it snow…