efficient life ? moscow style

What do you do to escape the cold, especially the cold of the severe moscow winter time? how do you try to fit in, work and live efficiently in a town covered by piles of snow, with millions of people running up and down the streets, squeezing into crowded metrotrains? what identity, what technology do you chose to survive the city?s roughness, poverty and craziness? where do go to find your space, where you can be yourself, just as you want to be ? all under the maxime of efficiency? some fragments of different survival techniques in moscow.

                                SNOW

masha, 24, still sitting in the office, just got invited again, to be the ?bottle-opener?, yes, ?opener?, her and dasha, after-work-party, drink drink knock your head out. forget about life, just knock some little parts of your brain out. forget what happened. what will be. there?s no future anyway. at least nothing to be aware of. just function, that will do.


1,5 l beer plastic bottle in snow. no difference in packaging, no difference in drinking: in russia, beer has the status of a softdrink, alcohol only starts with 40 percent
you know it is all about vodka, this is our way of life. old russian tradition. you in europe, you have the same maybe even more alcoholics, in russia, this is all relative. you know, you have to consider the SIZE of our  country……..well, yes, but look on the  street…….it is very cold here. so much snow, the climate is really severe, so people have to warm up a little, you know ……………………aga. sachariki. the typical dry snack to accompany beer, suited perfectly to kill the little hunger inbetween

moscow subway, drunk people everywhere. in one of the last cars, hey you, time to get up, don?t sleep, yes, sure, konyechnaya, hey, did you get it? da, nu da! get out, or do you want to feel the truncheon on your back, hm? bet you don?t, so you better get out, right now! people, drunk, all over, on the street, in the metro, on the floor, on the ground, a guy, all dirty and wet. is he still breathing? i can?t tell. something is moving, his chest, it is going up and down, slowly, but up and down. i guess, he is, still alive. i get out of the metro- stop, pass the exit-bars, there, another one ? where is his left shoe? Oh, there, far away, in another corner of the subway hall. the man is lying on his back, all stretched out, sleeping the sleep of the just….

 Vodka, vodka, davaj, vypyem! Let?s drink for friendship, and that we?ll have everything we want!


                             
                               SPEED


wires and lanes

 

internet, intranet, worl wide web, web, web, web, highspeed traffic,
5000 hits per site per minute in one second. investment in technology
and technological progress is efficient ? new growth theory. we are a
high class, state research centre for science and technology, we were
the best in soviet times! as you can see we operate with
state-of-the-art hard-and software. our russian state knows where the
money has to go ? as we already said, it is all about research
&development ?and russia is again on top of the hops.

nightmode: be cool, be hip, go into clubs, one like propaganda, almost feels like europe, but faster, better, run run, the beats faster and faster, till you can?t hear them anymore, the lights are bright, colours beaming, bodies sweating. i feel dizzy… bouncer, bouncing over: hey, you girl, go to the side, you see, here here is the line, you are not in line, no, you have to get back into the line. it is all for security ……. but……. girl, i am just doing my job, get back to the line. be on line. ONLINE.

red-light, green light

how fast can you cross the street? gosh, the lights have been turned red for ever… come on, please, i have to cross the street ? nobody ever says that in moscow. nobody really cares if lights are red or green. jay-walking all over. and by the way, why should people be concerned with stupid rules? if even the lights themselves don?t follow the rule and are red-red or green-green when they were supposed to be red-green or green-red? first the lights need to be changed, then the rest might follow.


cross lights, at Myasnitskayatreet, downtown moscow

                              SEXES

beauty and the putin

hmm, this looks delicious, did you count the calories? ? it is all about the right technique. if you are concentrated you can basically defeat any kind of enemy. just one perfect move, one perfect stroke ? no, cabbage has the least calories. in fact, what really matters is not to take in too much fat. i went on this diet, only fruits and cabbage, and i lost 6 pounds in one week, can you imagine? ? with judo you learn to focus, get yourself together. as they say: a healthy mind in a healthy body. with judo you can achieve anything you want, even become a president.

 intimates

quite honestly, in moscow sometimes it seems that all men and women are there to make love. and there are very clear definitions to make the process of spreading human kind as efficient as possible: men are supposed to be men, women ? women. you see, homosexuality cannot work, that is not efficient, sicky sicky sicky. no,no, well, maybe, but only if it is a commercial success, like TATU, tata.

guys have to be tough, women have to be pretty. to live efficiently, there must be at least some order in life, right?

                              SPACE

in the metro

moscow metropolitan. taking
pictures in the metro is strictly
prohibited

Millions of people, moving up and down the escalators, going deep deep under ground, people dispersing like ants, from one underpass to the other. doors open. wait, two minutes tops, the next train rushes in. wait another minute, two stops ? here we are, the moscow metropolitan, the fastest in the world! yes, the moscow metro- russian?s prrrrride….. DOORS CLOSING, NEXT STOP: PUSHKINSKAYA……bumm!

 it?s all so quiet, so quiet, and i am so tired, so tired? falling asleep, around me, all of a sudden, it?s all so ?.

    


Garage(s) on the street

Take your car. put it somewhere in between, find a space for it. between skyhigh concrete building blocks. higher and higher, these buildings were built for people, not for cars. but cars also need to be kept warm, protected from the cold white snow, they should overnight in a cosy place. put a little cap on your car ? and it can go to sleep. til you wake it up the next day.

as you like it

 82 years old, petr ivanovitch, in the middle of the town, well not exactly, more the south-western part of moscow, metro stop jugozapadnaya. behind him ? cars, people, traffic, mc donald?s. petr is facing a hill ? not just any hill, it is his hill, where he has been skiing on white snow for over 40 years now. the hill is wherever you want it to be, obviously, you don?t need mountains in the caucasus, like funky moscow teenagers do nowadays, snowboarding, being cool hipsters, here, a few steps from the metro, in between the 10story tall building blocks, here it is, the perfect hill… your own space, wherever you are. be yourself and your life will be efficient. what an amazing old boy.

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